The price I pay for eating well

Sandwiches are frightfully boring. Like math. But tastier. Like children. It's a fact, go look it up. But as I don't particularly enjoy eating children, sandwiches, or math (although, it must be said that the exponents in quadratic functions are a delicacy too rarely enjoyed), my lunchtime repast at work often consists of leftovers from last night's dinner, be it homemade or store-bought.

This has become such tradition that, more than anything else, I'm well known around the office place for having the most delightfully smelling foodstuffs. What can I say? My adventurous tongue will no longer suffer the white-bread sorrows of mustard slathered turkey (unless, of course, it has been grilled and further seasoned with pesto and avocado. That shit is delicious.)


Today, I was eating what you see at left (on the screen, baby, on the screen. I don't know what you have to the left of whatever you're reading this on, but chances are real good I was not eating it.) If you've never had one of these things, you really ought to. It's a box of pure Eastern imagination hiding in a textural playland of rice, chicken, and fruit. They're cheap and, all things considered, not too terribly bad for you. Today I had the Sweet and Sour Chicken; its powerful and seductive smell wafts into the nose like a bouquet of egrets seeing sanctuary. And the taste? Like getting shot with a stun gun set on "Pleasure."

Most of my co-workers have been, or currently are, sick. Even I was out yesterday to recuperate. And while today I am back in full control of my faculties, some of my colleagues are not so lucky. Which is how we get to the following exchange (and the whole point of this post):

Coworker #1: Oh, my! That smells delicious.
Coworker #2: What is it?
Coworker #1: It's sweet and sour chicken. Can't you smell it?
Coworker #2: I'm sick. Stuffed up. I can't smell anything.
Coworker #1: Well, go stick your nose in his box and see if you smell anything.

GO STICK YOUR NOSE IN HIS BOX
AND SEE IF YOU SMELL ANYTHING

Please, coworkers and friends, do not ever do this. Ever. Thank you.